Begin with the positives. It’s a lovely venue, albeit a slightly incongruous one to reach. Guests ascend in a teeny tiny lift in which any more than two people might struggle to fit. On arrival, you walk into a bar-cum-restaurant, tastefully decked out with ample greenery and large floor-to-ceiling windows. The tunes are playing and nearly all the people look glamorous, or at least well-tattooed. Every table, we were told, was booked and so it was a good thing to have reserved. We people-watched, sipped very agreeable Negronis and then contemplated the eating options.
Here, the tyranny began. First, constant prompting from different waiters on whether we had yet decided on our choices never goes down too well. Plaudits for enthusiasm on the part of the serving staff, if not for execution. When it comes to the dishes, everything – of course – is intended for sharing. Luckily, my dining comrade and I get on. The decision to divide the menu into snacks, small and large is a clever contrivance, since it effectively forces guests into ordering three courses, whether they like it or not. We did not mind the chance to sample more widely but resented some of the snacks and smalls being brought together, feeling then as if we were rushed with these dishes. To add relative insult to injury, there was subsequently an embarrassingly long wait before our mains arrived, at least compensated for on the part of the venue by a gratis round of drinks. There was an additional disappointment that could easily have been avoided: if you’re only going to offer five large dishes, then you probably want to make sure that they are all available. My favoured option from the quintet – a cod with yuca cream – was gone before 8pm.
What we did eat was, however, mostly very good. Plaudits to the kitchen in terms of both presentation – almost an Insta-given these days, but still always appreciated when done well – and ingredient composition. A set of battered prawns that may not have been out of place in a pub was elevated multiple times by a sweet yet smoky chilli sauce and a pleasing sprinkle of chopped nuts, which added lovely texture. A similar culinary trick was successfully pulled off in our charred octopus and stonebass ceviche dish. Textures and flavours mingled wonderfully. Mains were somewhat more predictable and your reviewer was somewhat saddened that the venue did not offer llama on its menu. It is a staple in the Andean highlands of Peru and a wonderfully lean meat, somewhat akin to venison. Maybe the backers felt it might be a step too far for trendy Hoxtonites. Regardless, a pork chop and grilled ribeye option did both deliver. Wine pleased, our standout choice being a white blend from Priorat.
Come to Llama Inn for a good time, to hang out and live the dream, but just don’t expect all your (llama-based) needs to be fulfilled.