Step into the Guinea and the only reason you might know it is 2025 and not 1952 – when the venue first opened – are the prices on the menu. Beyond cost, everything about the Guinea is reassuringly old school. If it’s classic British nosh executed well, then this is the venue for you.
Tucked on a side street to the north side of Mayfair’s Berkeley Square, entering the Guinea is like stepping into a time capsule. That there’s no natural light in the dining room – one of many in the venue’s warren-like interior – probably helps. Picture the scene: tartan carpet on the floor, panelled walls bedecked with hunting and fishing prints, white-gloved waiters. This is the Guinea. And then there’s clientele. Protruding bellies and greying hair are the norm; women and other minorities conspicuously absent. You know you’re among like-minded brethren.
With this atmosphere – every table was taken on the weekday lunchtime of our recent visit – the menu should come as no surprise. Think prawn cocktail or paté as a starter, followed perhaps by a pie or big hunk of meat. Our trio all opted for devilled kidneys on toast (pictured) as our opener. Some struggle with offal and few offer this dish, especially at lunchtime, but the Guinea’s iteration was superb. The lamb’s entrails were gushingly good, enhanced by a judiciously spiced and moreish sauce. The portion sizing was incredibly generous too. For our main we shared a T-bone of beef. We were told more than suggested what cut of meat to enjoy. Part of the Guinea’s ‘charm’ is the unapologetic assertiveness of the serving staff. The cooked cow, on arrival, was wonderfully tender. Accompanying it were fat chips and sides of creamed spinach plus peas, bacon and onion. It’s like being back at a posh boarding school or an Oxbridge college. Hence why many of the diners (alumni) keep on returning. A bottle of South African red comfortably helped things along too.
Were one to quibble, then it would be over pricing – for no experience at the Guinea comes cheap. Either a prawn cocktail or the kidneys will set a diner back £16, while pies can amount to as much as £35. A joint of meat for three comfortably costs in excess of £100. Diners might also struggle to find many decent reds on the list for below three figures. This is, however, Mayfair, and the guests are still returning more than 70 years since life at the Guinea began.